Floating Bats

Beatrice Bat and Stormin' Norman have been floating on the lake to cool down their nether-regions. Norman has blown up two rubber rings so they could sit down while floating and chat and drink their batacoladas; while discussing whether or not it would be a good idea to move their roosts next to each other. Beatrice had persuaded Norman to do a particularly complex position from the Batasutra, which went on for nearly 3 hours, until they finally mastered it. It was a lot of fun, they both got a lot out of it, but it was time to take a pause.
Meanwhile in the batcave, strange things were happening in Norman's batbooth, where he did his experiments making batremedies. His latest 'Dick Dilator' had gone down a storm with the other bats, as it expanded batknobs by at least 10%. The main customers had been the female bats, batpheramones had been everywhere for days now, and lots of roosts had 'Do Not Disturb' signs hung up. Anyway, something was bubbling in one of Norman's test tubes, he was working on something to help with his own creative impulse, which he knew was a bit wonky; he was obsessed by work and money, instead of fun and pleasure and he knew he was trying to kick out an ancestral pattern of behaviour which had well and truly stuck in his batunconscious.
Suddenly there was a bang, a flash of light and a green gas flew out of the testtube, somebody had sabotaged his remedy and put something in it but who? Norman, hearing the bang, took to flight, but forgot that he was sat in a rubber ring, which by now was wedged around his batbum. Beatrice, nearly choked on her batacolada, then nearly choked some more from laughter at the sight of Norman flapping his wings, looking like a ring doughnut with wings, Norman finally managed to free himself and flew off to his batbooth to see what was going on.....

Beatrice Bat & Stormin Norman

Beatricebat was doing her batsercise this morning, which consists of tying rubber bands to her feet, then flying out as far as she can, it is brilliant for wing strength and for stretching out those hamstrings; not to mention the powerful effect it has on her pelvic floor. The problem is that she has to be careful it doesn't end up in a bungy jump if her wings get tired, then she has to hang around boinging up and down until one of the other bats take pity on her and helps her up.
Anyway this morning her back was a bit sore and she was wondering what she could do about it. She had tried everything orthodox and non-orthodox and some things which others would consider wacky, which incidently had been more helpful and her back was much less painful now than it had ever been. This was because her particular body/mind system happened to somatise emotional pain into her body, in other words she felt emotional pain in a physical way. It was her body's way of telling her she had a problem and she was paying attention now.
It could be that she was fairly annoyed by the latest news bulletin today about the call by some of the NHS Doctors to stop allowing treatments like homeopathy on the NHS to save money. The situation may have triggered something in her unconscious and her body was responding. She herself had saved the NHS thousands of pounds in treatment costs precisely 'cause they hadn't been able to help her and homeopathy had been one of the treatments that had worked very well for her.
Why do they keep referring healthcare back to one particular model, while completely discounting hundreds and in the case of acupuncture, thousands of years of proven cures she thought? When will they ever stop and listen and realise we can use both?
She took her rubber bands off and realised her back was hurting because she was angry and she needed to do some batyoga, maybe some bat acupressure, to quiet her mind, ease the pain and bring herself back to batcentre, then see if 'Norman' was up for it (he had been having a 'hang-in' on his bat roost and not stirred from sleep yet). With a glint in her eye Beatrice flew off to the waterfall for her early morning shower.....

Self Matters

I was reading a book the weekend called 'Self Matters' by Dr Phil McGraw, in my quest to examine, understand and change patterns that are not working for me in my life. I was struck by his idea that we have 10 defining moments in our lives which shape our self-concept to the present day, good or bad.
I wonder therefore, where my preoccupation with bats comes from and where this fits in and what the defining moment was, 'cause one of the things I do to amuse myself before work in the morning is do a bit of writing from my imaginary batcave and I thought I would share my latest....

'Barrybat has been stumbling around pissed again. Apparently he has set up an illegal batstill making batbooze called 'message in a bottle' the message being don't drink alcohol while hanging upside down, you lose most of it.
His secret ingredient is gloworm, it is a bit like tequila but glows in the dark and made from fruit, with a bit of batiguana in (the aroma when it is brewing is interesting). Anyway he has got a production line going. Some of the younger bats are secretly siphoning it off while Barry is sleeping it off, and taking it to their batroosts, so they can hang around on bat corners, while trying to look cool and eye up the batbabes.
Norman Bat aka 'stormin Norman' called so because of his famous bat-escapades, that is, swinging from ivy to ivy singing 'I could have flapped all night, I could have flapped all night and still come back for more' (splat..Norman has just misjudged a loop the loop and landed head first in a pile of bat poo) has decided to use 'message in a bottle' to sabotage the visiting bat flight team. They are two days away from a synchronised flight team display competition. Norman has put together an impressive display, whereby his formation 'Bewdley Bats' have been practising a hovering batsymbol with 40 other bats, but the 'Pershore Pipistrells' have been rumoured to have created a new unheard of, never seen before display, which has been kept under raps and absolutely secret.....

Navigating the bookselling business

I am a great believer in the idea that what is going on in my life can also, though not always be a reflection of what is going on in my unconscious on any given day. My psyche is made up of inherited ancestral patterns, ways of being, beliefs etc.. that have gone in there either by genetics, miasms or by osmosis from my environment through childhood, as well as influences from others on my human journey.
I also have the idea that I can view what I need to examine within myself if I pay attention to what situations out there are mirroring to me, (I am talking about negative situations here) in other words, what people are in my world and what are they doing or saying.
Now after months of sending emails to one of the main UK book distributors (you have very little choice as a small publisher but to deal with them - that is unless I come up with another creative idea)and jumping through hoops to get the main buyers attention, with marketing plans etc.., they requested a copy of our first novel, which I duly sent to the person concerned, which they promptly lost. So I scratched my head, searched my feelings, meditated on it a bit and decided 'well that wasn' meant to be just yet then!' Of course the next question I then ask myself is why? Hummmm.....

Songs From The Secret Place - a book that speaks to the heart and soul, but grounded in reality and very human (it contains some strong language and scenes of a sexual nature)


The book I want to tell you about is called 'Songs From The Secret Place - The Meeting of the Spirits' by Deborah Clarke. It is a story that speaks to the heart and soul, like no other I have ever read. It has a shape, a beautiful pattern and three dimensions to it, other books feel flat to me now in comparison, I love it. I want everyone to read it, love it or not, no matter, I believe it changes your perception of life forever. It is a metaphor for the human experience.

What others say about it:

"This is a wonderful book that repays reading and re-reading. On the surface it is about the Magnus family, three generations of whom live together in a large country house somewhere in the Cotswolds. They are like a pride of lions, led by Chris Eriksson, the grandfather of the pride, and the book follows the working out of both the family relationships and those close to the family.

At first they seem to be just a bunch of people loving, squabbling and fighting with one another, but as the book unfolds it is plain that the family and friends have been together in a previous incarnation and they have come together to sort out the karmic consequences of their previous encounters.

The book skilfully develops all of the fifteen main characters, whilst revealing the interrelationships between them, both in this and the past life, keeping you hooked into the story in order to discover their eventual fates. However, the book works on a number of different levels; as a story that engages our emotions by pointing us towards our own dreams and needs, which not only get exercised by reading the book but are answered by the characters in the book; it also works at a deep unconscious level to produce unexpected reactions to the storyline.

If you want to read a book of fiction that feels like fact, which engages your emotions but somehow releases you from them, that refers to the mythic world but reveals the Deep to you, then buy this book and take from it what it is offering."
Brian Ackroyd - professional writer, Worcester, UK

"The book was totally awesome, I found the characters so believable they had me crying with laughter" - Annette Francis, Kidderminster, UK

and many more testimonials, yet to be published.....